How to Start a Good Conversation With a Stranger Online

Skip the empty opener

'Hi' and 'asl?' put all of the work on the other person. They have to decide what to talk about, and most will not bother. A good opener has two parts: a short greeting and a hook that is easy to answer.

• 'Hey! What was the best thing you watched or played this week?'
• 'Hi, what's the weather like where you are? It's pouring here.'
• 'Hello! If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?'

Ask open questions

A closed question has a one-word answer: 'Do you like music?' An open question invites a story: 'What song have you had on repeat lately?' Open questions begin with what, how or why. They make the other person feel that their opinion matters, which is the quickest route to a good chat.

Use shared interests

Interest tags in Random chat exist for a reason. Two people who both like football, anime, cooking or coding start with something real in common. If you match on a tag, mention it straight away: 'I saw we both picked gaming, what are you playing at the moment?'

Listen and follow up

The best conversationalists simply pay attention. When someone mentions a detail, such as a trip, a pet or a job, pick it up and ask a follow-up question. People remember the chats in which they felt listened to, far more than the ones in which they heard a clever line.

Share a little of yourself

A conversation is a trade. If you only ask questions it begins to feel like an interview. After the other person answers, add a sentence about yourself, then hand the conversation back. Keep it to things that are safe to share: hobbies, opinions, favourite foods, funny stories.

Know when to move on

Not every match will click, and that is completely normal. If the other person gives one-word answers, is rude, or makes you uncomfortable, politely end the chat and start another. A friendly 'nice talking to you, take care' is enough.